The Funniest Water10:02 am
I came across Glacéau vitamin water and was so impressed by the copy on their bottles that I had to try them.
Not only do they do the body good (they’re a combination of vitamins, depending which flavour you choose. I definitely noticed a difference in my energy, focus and general overall health after drinking them – not too sound too infomercially, but it’s true) and taste great (a delicately flavoured water without any oily or sugary aftertaste but you can really taste the flavours like iced tea, lemonade, grape, fruit punch, etc) but the labels are some of the funniest writing I’ve seen in a long time.
I’ll let them speak for themselves (it was incredibly hard to choose just 2 examples. They all rock). Go out and read them for yourself. You won’t have read writing this good since Dorothy Parker’s After Such Pleasures and Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life by Amy Krouse Rosenthal.
formula 50 – grape (50% daily dose)
“inspired by today’s most talked about artist, hottest record producer and blockbuster movie star, this ‘not-so-hypnotic0 tonic contains (hint, hint) 50 (per) cent of many of the important vitamins that you need every day.
However, unlike mister fifty (or ‘fiddy’ as the kids say), this drink does not contain talent, a seven-figure recording deal, platinum jewelry, a big entourage or a bulletproof vest.”
rescue – gree tea (b+chamomile)
caller: i… need… help.
operator: what seems to be the problem?
caller: feel sluggish. Kids… work… bills… ugh.
Operator: open the bottle, sir… open the bottle, and don’t worry, sir… it’s a twist off.”
As they say on the bottle, “one sip, swig or gulp may result in boycott of other beverages.”